Post by Rebecca Andrews on Feb 17, 2009 3:43:27 GMT -5
It was a minute before I realized that I was no longer myself.
Yesterday, my friends were calling each other these names. It was fun hearing them like that. And then I realized that one name they used was the same one used by my male cousin in calling his sister. I smiled bitterly into the bed sheet as memories cascaded down in my already malfunctioning brain. Memories that seemed like they belonged to a completely different world.
Just this morning, another set of recollections bombarded my head. Certain words seem to have some effect on me, or even some situations. I hate it when I suddenly see a flash of my past pass in front of my eyes. It's really annoying, especially when it happens at the moment you least expect it to. Fortunately, I haven't been walking down memory lane too much. I mean, I don't go too far back. But who knows? Maybe one of these days I will. As I have said, remembering happens when you least expect it.
And then I was laughing with my friends, doing those crazy stuff we normally do. But when I got out, I felt something was once again wrong with me.
As I walked down the usual that I take to my SPCM 1 class, I can't help but feel like everything that I've been doing for the past years of my life have all been just a temporary release. I don't really find solutions to my problems; I just push them deeper into the back of my mind. And because of that continuous process, somehow I realized that my mask, instead of peeling away from me, has become more intact. More attached, to what I am. To what I have become.
It was a minute before I realized that I was no longer myself.
Yesterday, my friends were calling each other these names. It was fun hearing them like that. And then I realized that one name they used was the same one used by my male cousin in calling his sister. I smiled bitterly into the bed sheet as memories cascaded down in my already malfunctioning brain. Memories that seemed like they belonged to a completely different world.
Just this morning, another set of recollections bombarded my head. Certain words seem to have some effect on me, or even some situations. I hate it when I suddenly see a flash of my past pass in front of my eyes. It's really annoying, especially when it happens at the moment you least expect it to. Fortunately, I haven't been walking down memory lane too much. I mean, I don't go too far back. But who knows? Maybe one of these days I will. As I have said, remembering happens when you least expect it.
And then I was laughing with my friends, doing those crazy stuff we normally do. But when I got out, I felt something was once again wrong with me.
As I walked down the usual that I take to my SPCM 1 class, I can't help but feel like everything that I've been doing for the past years of my life have all been just a temporary release. I don't really find solutions to my problems; I just push them deeper into the back of my mind. And because of that continuous process, somehow I realized that my mask, instead of peeling away from me, has become more intact. More attached, to what I am. To what I have become.
It was a minute before I realized that I was no longer myself.